Caesar or Nothing

Hi, 

This week we are going to take a look into: ambition, success, and identity, through the lens of a little philosophy, a little psychology, and a little bit of the marshmallow test. 

A Little Philosophy: 

In my recent obsession with philosophy, I found myself reading The Sickness Unto Death by Soren Kierkegaard. To be completely honest, I may not have the chops in the reading comprehension department to give you a proper analysis, but there was an idea that really jumped out at me. 

I am going to try my best at explaining this as simply as I can. 

Kierkegaard speaks about the person with ambition, who says, “Caesar or nothing.” He then goes through a couple of scenarios of what happens to the self as this person aspires to be Caesar. 

The first scenario is the pursuit. The person ignores their self as they chase after the who the self wants to be. 

The second scenario is the failure. The person resents their self for not becoming the who the self wanted to become. 

The third scenario is the success. The person becomes the who the self wanted to become, but must lament over not being who the self actually is.

One of the drawbacks of ambition is that there is always something you are not doing, not because you are not enough, but because you are a human. In my opinion, the worst scenario is the third. It is much better to fail and see yourself than to succeed and not recognize the imposter in the mirror. 

A Little Psychology

There is a psychological program that is growing in popularity called Positive Intelligence. One of the core pillars is the idea of Saboteurs. These Saboteurs are our internal defense mechanisms that we use when we are younger to ensure our mental safety. 

As we get older, these Saboteurs if left unchecked go from forces of survival to obstacles. 

There are many different Saboteurs. The one that I struggle with the most is the Saboteur of Circumstance. This Saboteur’s catch phrase is “I will be happy when…” 

The best example I can think of is a nerdy boy coming of age movie. The boy is graduating from High School, and has had a crush on the popular girl since kindergarten. The boy fantasizes a life where he gets to date the girl. 

That fantasy is the Saboteur of Circumstance. 

By the end of the movie, the boy realizes that the girl has flaws, relationships are hard, or whatever superficial lesson they were supposed to learn, but the deeper lesson is that there is no such thing as a perfect life. 

A Little Bit of the Marshmallow Test

The marshmallow test has at least in the stuff I listen to become a bit of a cliche. 

The basic idea is that a psychologist offered a group of kids a marshmallow now, and a second treat when they got back. The longer the kids waited the better their life outcomes (this test was done in the 60s and 70s so they watched the kids over the years). 

So basically, the longer you can say no to the thing right in front of you, the better results you will get. 

But that can’t be the whole scenario. 

Imagine if this was a dystopian world and the researchers took it to the furthest degree. Offered a kid food, and said if you don’t eat it until I get back I will give you a prize. And then the researchers left indefinitely with a plan to not go back until they were called back in. 

Would there be anyone who praises the kids for starving themselves? Of course not. 

That would make no sense. 

Therefore, taking the marshmallow, or the food in the darker example, becomes necessary at some point. There becomes a point where the thing you are waiting for is here, and living the way you lived to get to that point will no longer serve you once you have arrived. 

Deferring from eating the marshmallow is good, but the goal of the experiment is that you will still get to eat the marshmallow. 

So when the time comes… eat your damn marshmallow. 

Tie it all up in a bow

There is nothing wrong with having ambition. Success is a great thing. The issue is when you tie your identity to your ambitions and your successes. 

The issue is not being Caesar, the issue is getting there at all costs. 

The issue is believing that once you arrive at the destination you have set out for that is when you will be happy.

The issue is saying no to current moments for the promise of future moments to a degree that the future moment may never come. 

Success isn’t a destination. 

Kyle