FOMO

Hi, 

About a week ago, I started reading the Creative Act by Rick Rubin, and I am really digging it. One of the things I love about it is that I would’ve hated it 7 years ago. Not something I would normally consider, but recently, I have been feeling very woo-woo, and been recollecting on not just the things my past would love about me, but also the things he just wouldn’t understand. 

To make a bit of a meta-observation, the thing I think he wouldn’t understand the most is how woo-ey I am today. I mean if you read these newsletters, you know that I love to wax eloquent about how the challenges of today are shaping the human of tomorrow, and that there is no good or bad, and all of that.  

2019 Kyle would’ve hated that. 2019 Kyle was all about execution. He may have agreed that there is no good or bad or that the challenges overcome create the product of the future, but his focus was what can I do right now. What can happen in this moment that will make progress on the thing. 

This week, I want to dive deeper into that feeling. This will operate much more as a cathartic journal post, but I hope that you enjoy your fly on the wall view of conversation with myself. 

So, one thing that I haven’t ever really struggled with is FOMO. For whatever reason, seeing people on lavish vacations, crazy nights out, or driving cool cars never really triggered that yearning feeling for me. 

But, as I think about 2019 Kyle, I realize that he struggled with one of the most was actually FOMO. Not in the way I described above, but he struggled with the fear of missing out on progress. He so earnestly wanted the stuff that he wanted, and the only way to get them was to charge straight at them. 

He made one key mistake, his fear of missing out put a premium on external change and discounted internal change. 

The pauses, the moments of silence, the periods of reflection would all be moments wasted. He built his identity on the ability to act immediately. 

In many ways, that particular variant of FOMO provided me with the life that I have today, so I am very thankful for that stance. 

But, it is not something that serves me anymore.

I wouldn’t say that I am entering my second mountain era of my life. There are still accolade types of things that I want to do, there are still external pillars that I want to build, but I am realizing that I still have to like the person who gets to enjoy those successes. 

I can’t remember if I have talked about this recently on here, I probably have, but my Coworker Noah said this to me about 2 months ago, and I haven’t shut up about it since, “To have a strategy to inherently have to give up one thing to get the other.”

2019 Kyle’s strategy was acquisition at all costs. Get the skills, get the money, get the life. 2026 Kyle’s strategy is become the person who is able to enjoy the life they built. Get the skills you enjoy, get the money to secure the life you want to live, get the life. 

The shift isn’t that dramatic in how I spend my time, I still want to achieve things, there are still mountains I need to go climb. The shift is that I want to like the person standing at the top of the mountain. 

Hopefully this was interesting. 

Kyle