How to Tell the Truth

Hi, 

That is not an original joke, thought I would get ahead of that, but it is one of my favorites. 

Today, I am giving you a choice of two quotes to think about as I write this: 

1. “Tell all truth, but tell it slant” - Emily Dickinson

2. “You can’t handle the truth” - A Few Good Men 

They both hold the same truism, but one is for poetry lovers and the other is for cinephiles. 

I spent about a year looking for a job. It was a tedious and arduous process. I employed two methods for my job search, informational interviews and cold-applying. 

In the modern job market, cold-applications still have their place, but in the words of Harry Joiner: 

“If you truly are 1 in a million, there are 900 million profiles on Linkedin, so there are 900 of you.”

A hard truth for sure, but a necessary one. 

Considering that truth, I decided to focus a lot of my energy on informational interviews. The goal was three fold: learn about different industries, try to grow my professional network, and get an unbiased opinion of the story I am telling to find which aspects resonate. 

The first two criteria are kind of what happened as a byproduct of reaching out and listening to different career stories, but the last one had the most variance from call to call. 

For a while, I chalked the variance up to the difference in individual demeanor and personality, but I realized that there was actually something deeper going on. 

Two things were happening on every call, people approached advice, or in this context the truth, with a different level of candor, and I postured myself differently based on my perception of them. 

If someone came across more seriously, I focused more on talking about my accomplishments and goals. In contrast, if someone felt more casual I focused more on relationship building and conversation. 

I told the truth about myself based on the vibe of the call. This was by no means on purpose, but in hindsight, I could tell that it dramatically changed the direction of the calls. 

Now, I don’t think that it hindered or expedited my journey towards my next career move because the main needle mover was trying to glean as much earned wisdom as I could (and I learned a lot), but it was interesting thinking back on it and thinking of the variance. 

So why talk about this? 

Meeting new people is a skill, whether it is meeting a new client meeting, coworkers, dating, or casual encounters in the wild. You will continue to meet new people for the rest of your life. Understanding how you want to come across in the different environments in which you meet people will help you be more successful in those arenas. 

Here is an example: 

Arena 1: eCommerce Meet-up

“Hey I am Kyle, I started an eCommerce journal company, and scaled it from $0 to 7-figures in 18 months.” 

Arena 2: Meeting your partner’s parents

“Hey I am Kyle, I love your daughter” - Heavy Handed I know

Both of these quotes are true, but would absolutely be weird if said in the other context. 

The idea of being authentically yourself all of the time no matter the context is only good advice when you put the correct guide rails on the truth bombs that you are dropping. 

The two quotes you have been pondering on all newsletter both consider the most important aspect to good truth telling: empathy. 

What truth is my audience ready for because truth for truth’s sake can actually do more harm than just saying nothing. 

Well-timed truthfulness, whether in how you approach a scenario or information that you need to share, can be an extremely powerful tool, but when approached incorrectly, you can create the wrong impression of yourself or cause unnecessary harm. 

Have a great week! 

Kyle

P.S. I am switching my send date to Sundays :)