Let the North Star Lead You

Hi,

Last week, we talked about how your environment can help you accomplish tasks. I am afraid I jumped the gun a little bit. Obviously, the importance of the topics in this newsletter isn't ranked by how early they appeared, but I think today’s topic is the most important question you need to ask yourself.

Why?

A few weeks ago, I babysat my three-year-old brother. When I think back on that experience, all I can think of is… why?

Not because I regret it. I admit I worded it that way so you would think that, but because everything I told him to do, his first response was why?

What is the value of sitting on your bottom versus on your knees? What is the value of going to bed now versus in 30 minutes? The list of examples is endless.

It is one of the first questions that we all learn to ask, but we lose it. Somewhere in learning, maturing, or whatever it is, we stop asking the most important question.

Now, the why’s we ask ourselves are going to have more nuance than the why’s he was asking. The why you need to ask yourself is why I do what I do. To avoid sounding too much like Simon Sinek, I am going to change the word I use for the rest of this newsletter to: North Star.

Your North Star is at the center of everything you do, whether you like it or not. The danger in not knowing your North Star is that you will have one, but it won’t have as much depth as it could if you take a moment to examine it.

Here is an example: You are living paycheck to paycheck. An unidentified North Star for work is to keep up with expenses and keep a roof over your head. This is the reality for a lot more people than we all imagine, and this isn’t an effort to demean that position. The power of a North Star is it gives you a glimpse past your circumstances to see the true reason you do what you do.

The same example with a North Star: You are living paycheck to paycheck. You have to work 80 hours a week to keep up with expenses and keep a roof over your head. You have a family that relies on you for shelter, food, and security. The North Star isn’t to pay your bills. Your North Star is to take care of your family, and working 80 hours a week is the thing you have to do in order to fulfill your North Star.

Without the North Star, we focus on the circumstances that we inhabit. With a North Star, we create perspective that allows us to see outside of our circumstances while we still inhabit them.

Powerful difference.

The Hero’s Journal

From the beginning of The Hero’s Journal, my North Star was learning. I had no revenue number I was searching for. I had no exit number I cared about. All I focused on was learning.

That being said, I definitely lost the plot here and there during the adventure.

I realize now that when I look back on the story, the moments where I was most frustrated were moments where I was so overwhelmed that my brain rejected any new information. Or moments where I became so systematized that I stopped learning altogether.

During the post–Hero’s Headquarters stage of the business, my learning definitely waned. Not because the business wasn’t presenting new opportunities to learn. I think I had become numb to the lessons the business could offer me.

This turns into the worst version of an entrepreneur. Someone who thinks they know everything about their business, and maybe even other people’s (I don’t think I quite got there).

The most dastardly part of this headspace: it is antithetical to my North Star. Knowing everything is the enemy of learning.

Fortunately, I found myself other opportunities that allowed me to learn outside of The Hero’s Journal, such as teaching at the University and coaching track and cross country. Not to dive too deep into that, but I learned a lot really fast.

I am hoping that I have broken the know-it-all stage of my journey, and I try to check myself whenever I fall back into it. Not just because it is annoying, but because it is actually an obstacle on my actual journey.

Atypical

I have gone over Trey’s North Star many times on this newsletter. It has been really enjoyable to see someone build a community around their North Star rather than some other dubious thing.

He made a really good video recently. You should check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKeJomqarjQ

All his videos are good, but this one is really powerful.

Reading

This week, I have been obsessed with Dungeon Crawler Carl. I listen to it when I run, and it makes me want to extend every run.

It can be a bit crass, but it's a lot of fun.

You can learn from fiction.

Best line from the series so far: “They won’t break me.”

Coffee

I had Madonna and Peter come and visit me this last week. One of the fun parts: Madonna only drinks decaf coffee, so I get a chance to experiment in the decaf side of the coffee world. The one I chose was pretty good. B+

I also got a single origin from Colombia for myself. I made a latte with it this morning, and it had a chocolatey-cherry vibe as a latte, which was delightful.

Conclusion

I saved the second most important note about North Stars for the conclusion. If you are going to work with someone, date someone, build any kind of relationship with someone, ask them about their North Star.

This will serve you in two ways: First, it will help you get a peek into their brain and understand them at a deeper level. Second, and most importantly, it will allow you to have empathy when they make decisions that you disagree with.

I will give you an example that I assume my girlfriend thinks all the time:

Kyle, why are you doing that thing the hardest possible way?
Oh, because Kyle’s goal isn’t just to do something—it is to learn.

‘Til next time,
Kyle