Live the Life

Hi, 

I have a recurring nightmare. 

In this nightmare, I find myself driving a car on some sort of tall bridge. Oh yeah, and I am driving the car in the back seat. Reaching around the front seat trying to not whip the car right off the bridge. 

I have no idea how I have my foot on the accelerator, but the car keeps speeding up, and the impending doom becomes more and more real. 

Fortunately, I don’t wake up in my vehicle at the bottom of the Pacific. 

This week, I want to take a step back from this idea of success not being a destination. Philosophically, it really resonates, but I don’t think it quite as resonated to a place where it catalyzed action. 

Let’s talk about actually living the life. 

If you have read even one of these newsletters, you know that I really like philosophical ideals. I like to think of the way the world ought to be. Sometimes, I suspend myself there, and think of what my life would look like if all these ideas played themselves out the way I imagined. 

Here is the problem, philosophy is not that. It is not suspended moments of day dreaming. 

Ryan Holiday put it best in The Obstacle is the Way: 

Philosophy is intended to be used, not thought. 

Here is the issue, when you try to live an ideal in its purest form, it can often be disrupted by reality. 

To quote another philosopher: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth” - Mike Tyson. 

So how do we do it? 

Well, I don’t know how we do it. But I will tell you what I do. 

In my 20s, I spent most of my time living in a city called Kirkland. If you know it, you also know that it is a very expensive suburb of Seattle.  I remember, I used to go for runs and just marvel in the opulence of some of the houses and cars. I would think of all the things I would have to do to be able to purchase such a home or drive such a car. 

But one day, I had a realization. I live in the same city as these people. We may have different experiences with the place, but I was sharing the same zip code. 

If my goal was to show up at the pearly gates with a badge that said Kirkland WA resident, it would look more like me resigning my lease, rather than selling a tech company or some other thing. 

I came to realize that a life spent doing something is actually finding anyway to do that thing. 

An artist who finds a way to support themselves, spends more of their life being an artist, than the one who dreams of being in the situation where they can be an artist. 

Talent aside.

Okay, so we have the first portion of this idea: the person doing, regardless of perception of success, is living the life. 

When I was writing my notes for this newsletter, another thing came to mind. 

My sleepless nights in The Headquarters my business couldn’t afford in the city I wanted to be in came rushing back to me. 

Action is great. I would say that most people need to be spurred to do more than to do less. But it can also be taken too far. 

Our views of how the world ought to be can get us in trouble. They can be dangerous, not in the size of the ideal, but in the quantity. 

There is chaos in the life where you are trying to live all the ideals in your head. You believe in the power of adding art to the world, running an ethical b-corp, being a perfect spouse, having a diet consisting of sustainably grown produce, etc. 

I am not advocating for lowering your bar, I am advocating for you to think about what it would actually be like to live the life where you do all the things you dream of doing. 

I have no doubt it would be cool to show up to the pearly gates as an astronaut, sculptor, triathlete holding a world’s greatest parent mug. But the reason you are at the pearly gates may have something to do with you spreading yourself too thin. 

I could imagine it would feel like driving a car over a bridge from the backseat. 

Point numero dos, living the life is only as possible as your ability to let go of lives you will not live. 

Not living a life isn’t a failure. It is ensuring the success of the life you want to live.  

Because I don’t feel like I have a lot tact today, here is the lesson: 

Your philosophy of the world should drive you to action. That action should drive you towards living a life that exemplifies your ideals. Those ideals are best lived when they are appropriately paired with self-restraint and focus. 

Everyone has heard the story of people with too much on their plate.

Let’s start the trend of telling the stories of people spending their time enjoying what is on their plate. 

Happy Sunday! 

Kyle