Rules, Constraints, and Goals

oh hey,

I’ve been thinking a lot about rules recently—not the ones given to us, but the ones we give ourselves.

There’s an interesting connection between our internal narrative and the rules we create. Often, self-limiting beliefs disguise themselves as rules. For example: “I don’t do this because I’m not that.”

To make rules work for us, we need a clear understanding of our constraints. That’s where narrative comes in—our perception shapes those constraints, which, in turn, inform our rules.

Real constraint: I’ll never run in the Olympics.
Fake constraint: My body won’t let me run and lift on the same day.

Honesty is key. That fake constraint might hold some truth—I may not currently have a system that allows me to run and lift on the same day. But that reflects my current reality, not my long-term potential.

Real constraints can actually be freeing. If I accept that I’m never going to run in the Olympics, I can stop comparing my training to an Olympian’s and focus on what’s achievable for me. Understanding what I cannot do helps clarify what I can do.

For me, turning 30 means focusing on health and fitness in a sustainable way. I’ve set a personal constraint: exercise needs to be something I can do daily. That means I can’t push so hard in one session that it derails the next day. Knowing this helps me prioritize consistency over intensity.

December’s Rule

This month, I gave myself a rule: all meals I eat will be made in a home kitchen—mine or someone else’s. No Uber Eats, no restaurants. If I want junk food, I have to make it myself.

The constraint? I’m not a great cook. But accepting that I won’t cook like a restaurant chef helps me stay at peace with the rule.

The Hero’s Journal

I’ve taken a little respite from this story, probably because this part of the journey was exhausting.

Our Kickstarter closed in mid-March of 2019. We sent the file to the printer in April, and our order arrived in July—except it didn’t.

The journals actually arrived in June but got lost in a warehouse in Kent. How do you lose a pallet? No idea. Two weeks later, they magically appeared. Now, two weeks may not feel like much in hindsight, but when you’re holding $15,000 in unfulfilled orders, it feels like an eternity.

By the time we received the inventory, we’d already missed our goal shipping timeline by a month and a half. Urgency was high.

The next hurdle: Nick and I both had full-time jobs. Fulfilling 277 orders felt like an insurmountable task. We came up with a plan: I’d wake up at 5 a.m. to pack boxes and print labels before work, and Nick would prep inventory and build boxes at night. The goal was 30 orders a day, with 50 as the stretch goal.

Cool, we did it—except we still had 600 journals left over to sell. What started as a 3–6 day plan turned into a month-and-a-half grind.

During this time, we had to stick to our schedule and hold each other accountable. If I stayed up too late, my morning shift suffered. If prep wasn’t done at night, packing in the morning became chaos.

There are plenty of fun stories from this time—like me having an allergic reaction to the packing supplies or the journals showing up in our driveway the day I was home sick.

The moral? Rules help you get things done, and constraints help you survive the system those rules create.

Atypical

This week, we hear from Trey himself. I asked him to share how he balances being a professional athlete, a husband, a son, and a business owner while using rules and constraints to manage it all:

“For me as a pro athlete, one of my key ingredients for peak performance is balance. I actually perform better when my whole identity isn’t wrapped up in my performance. Building Atypical and growing as a businessman is one way I create that balance. But it requires constraints.

The most direct one is this: keep the main thing the main thing. Right now, building Atypical can only exist if it doesn’t negatively impact my performance, relationships, or mental bandwidth. It has to be a side project—until it isn’t.

It’s my job to guard against letting any one pursuit become all-consuming. My priorities are clear: family, basketball, then Atypical—in that order.”

While Trey’s experience is unique, the principle is universal: keep the main thing the main thing. Knowing what matters helps you see what doesn’t.

Reading

I didn’t read much this week, but I listened to Chris Williamson’s conversation with an ultramarathon runner. Here’s the link if you’re interested: Chris Williamson Podcast.

Coffee

This week’s coffee highlight was extra special. James Hoffman (my favorite coffee personality) conducted a decaf experiment. He sent raw coffee from the same farm to three different decaffeination facilities, then had the processed beans roasted by different coffee roasters worldwide.

I got to try a kit and shared the experience with my stepmom, Madonna (yes, that’s her name). We Facetimed, compared notes, and bonded over cups of decaf coffee. It was a lot of fun—and a great reminder that I like coffee, but I love the connection you can have because of it.

Summary

Summary

Rules, Constraints, and ultimately goals. 

We create rules for ourselves as a mechanism to create the systems in our lives that help us create outcomes that we aspire to. 

These rules can be some of the most important things that we tell ourselves because like I mentioned above the rules we make tell us about ourselves and what we care about. 

Constraints are just the environment those rules live in. 

All so that we can do one thing: Keep the main thing, the main thing. 

Cheers, 

Kyle